Aug 22, 2007

Dont stick 'em up

         I simply love him. God knows why I do. I am not embarrassed to admit it. Honestly, sometimes he does his job only too well. In spite of being one of the 1001 useless facts of the country, that I do not understand a word he says most of the time, I fell in love simply by the mass female following he commands. He looks like He-man on Dr. Reddy's diet pills, with a hair style that would easily win the modeling design award for the head of Harry Potter's next broom. He is getting too old and his voice wavers too frequently nowadays like a naked man sitting on a huge block of ice. And yet, he has magnetism. He did literally pull me and a couple of my fellow comrades to watch his movie. And screwed us over.
         There are times when you find a movie extremely appealing; the simple innocence of it all says everything. It gives you a happy feeling, like you have watched something eternally worthwhile, something that you can use as a starting topic to yack with your girl friends, when you catch her in a not-so-good mood.
         Chak de, India does not.
      With loud, rotund Punjabi females, a hot female with a hot cricketer as boyfriend, a local, illiterate country jerk, a fiery, small midget and a team that has never made it big and never will; the movie is not clichéd at all. It is very well taken with amazing camera work, that does not give you a head ache. The fast paced screenplay is riveting to say the least, with originality that oozes out of every scene like mayonnaise. The humour was simply awesome and was not boring at all. My sides are still paining from laughing so much. I, in fact laughed all the way to my dorm room and I am still laughing at myself. The music was like honey, tomato sauce and Dabur chywanprash all mixed together. I did not feel like sawing my ears away at all. In addition, all the actors, especially the hired audience for the matches acted really, really well. I was so taken up at their disappointment when India failed to win, that I literally cried like a baby. It deserved a collective Oscar, at the least. Never in my life, have I seen so sensitive an audience who are so fanatical about the country, but somehow manage to wave the flag upside down. But the scene that stole it all was during the intermission when the entire hockey team, walks out after fighting away a bunch of local goondas (who had obviously messed with the best), with team spirit and unity shining out of their eyes - in a perfect V-formation! This scene was historic. It will be copied down the ages in every sports movie hence made. Or has it already been?
       By the way, I do not know what sarcasm means.
      Rajeev Masand, I came to find out is one of the worse movie critics I have ever come across. How can somebody call a movie, that is lifted straight from three English movies, dialogues and scenes intact, to be visually and ideologically appealing, is beyond my tolerance level and I've already blown two arteries. I very badly wanted to pour a bottle of sulphuric acid down his pants and rot his genitals after he gave his damned review.
      One man stood out though. Shah Rukh Khan. I am being serious here. I loved him. The movie rode on him as it always has in the past. This time he was exceptionally good. If not for him, I would have murdered both my friends and surrendered to the Gujarat Police.

Last word: Patriotism apart, promoting the same by making plagiarized movies that are terribly clichéd is not the way to do it. It just degrades movies like Rang De Basanti and Iqbal, each of which though far from the topic, portrayed what it wanted to say, in its own domain, effectively to a greater extent with sincerity. And which people still do not find the ability to appreciate. It's a pity. Deep below, we are Indians after all.


Rohit Tripathi said...

you really seems a true fan of shahrukh m tooooo :-), yet i havnt saw chak de but i know its one the best we have ever seen, i must say very nice way of writing, keep doing this :-)

sirpy said...

err.. dude.. i think u ve missed the point.. i did not like the movie at all... but yeah, baby...!! King Khan does the rocks!!

2T a.k.a VamC said...

no wonder we havent got many oscars..I am sure its people like u who sit on the academy panel.

and thank god there are millions of movie goers in the country who dont think like you..else you "king" would have been just another actor living in a rented flat in the outskirts of film city, travelling to studios on his morning jog.

Bollywood is for the mass, not to satisfy people like you...would you be willing to pay for the cost of movies like Iqbal, all alone?