Aug 19, 2007

Programmable Logic

           What is more harder than teaching a circus elephant to dance to a telugu song, by making it watch a video, wherein Chiranjeevi lugs it out with a female, old enough to be his grandson's illegitimate girlfriend? It is trying to think straight, with a song from any Ram Gopal Verma film running in the background.
           I was undeterred, though. I was bidding my time. The timing had to be perfect. I waited and waited and waited with patience and perseverance; remnants from studying an ancient subject called Human Resource Management (HRM). Kept my mind numb for that ever slight moment of lull that would occur. I did not want to falter. And then it came. It was the remix of Mehbooba and I pounced at the opportunity like a goat on steroids. As the rubbish song rattled on and on, I loosened my mind and started filtering out the necessary information.
           Seconds ticked away, the song was rising to a rather loud, irritating crescendo, that made you wish that you were better off among a pack of wolves with bad colds and I was still searching for the final scrap. That little mite of a rogue was lost totally. I was simply unable to locate it or recall it. I commenced sweating in gallons. The song would get over any second. I rummaged in a frenzy and approximately two seconds before the song got over, I struck golden gals. Rubik's cube!
           I felt so elated for no apparent reason that I wanted to kiss the first human being, be it man or woman or Vidya Balan. My elation bubbbled over and I feel a bit of it still, which is why I erroneously added an extra 'b' and not because I am a patron of that branch of fine arts, which we all very fondly refer to as porn.
           The program was complete, with all the relevant details, guaranteed to grant preferred results. With numerous side effects of course.
           Here is the NASDAQ approved, HSBC certified, N*A*S*H idea-of-the-century awarded 7-point program,

1. Vague point
2. Good point
3. Point of seductive statements
4. Main point
5. Cash point average
6. Suicide point
7. Match point

           If the program makes no sense, it was meant to be. And if it did make sense, please let us know.

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