Sep 26, 2007

The Abhorrence

        Peedpop was standing at a precipice. He looked determined and was totally deaf to the crowd yelling below. And then he saw her face. Radiant. Vaseline teary. Reddish and swollen.
        She ran forward and shouted, "#$ #@#..! #@#..! #@#...!!". Zero response.
        Peedpop gingerly took a step forward. He looked as if he was waiting for the auspicious second. Five minutes later, after a splitting headache, she came running from behind and said the golden three words, breathlessly. Those three unspeakable words; never to be uttered, except under dire circumstances; three words that apparently made Peedpop's life or death. Peedpop stared.
        "@###, $%#$ &^& $##@#$..?", Peedpop asked.
        "$$$$ @@@$!#$ @$ 431$$5$ 5$@% ...!!" , she replied.
        Peedpop looked dumbstruck.
        "Do you really, !@@# #@#@...?", he asked with a spot of surprise still left in him.
        She answered with a bright, Canadian flag-red blush.
        Peedpop was beyond himself and instantly went mad. He clutched his hair in disbelief and ran around in circles. He suddenly stopped and went close to her. He gingerly touched her face. She looked down, coyly averting her eyes, still blushing away furiously.
        The scene changed to vast, ice-covered hills and it started.

Male: ##@!@@#, @#$$%..%%#!2...
Female:@#$%%$ 5! %$! %$#$% 66&& &^#!@!....

Male: $# %^ ^& 8( )(( 76 77 78$$#$....
Female: Lightning, $$3 543 @! 2%^ %% Reebok $# % $%@$1...

Male: @#!@$% laser #$3 #$@!#$%%^.....
Female: #$! #$# %%$# !# %%^&^ ^^ ()@!....!!

Male: Aaaaaaaaaaaooooo...
Female: Mmmmmm He.. he.. he.. ooooohhhh..

Male: #$ # @$#@ !@$ % pedal cycles % &^%#...
Female: ! @# @$^&* *&* &* &&& George Michael *&*** &% #@#$...

        And so it went on and on. Unsurprisingly, Peedpop was wearing a bright red toga and his fiancee was showing off her midriff in a bright green blouse and an yellow skirt, that looked as if it was tailored for a baby. As she shook her hips from left to right that lifted her skirt even higher, Peedpop desperately tried to invade her navel. A bunch of foreigners were staring at the pantomime, faintly amused. Peedpop moved all his limbs in multiple directions, more or less like the Vitruvian Man in spasms. She was enraptured by his movements and joyfully jumped monkey-style into his arms. He groaned, but held on. It went on. And on. The skirt rose higher with every passing minute. With all the ice around, how the hell did she not get hypothermia, is a question that has its answer shrouded in mystery. Or shall I say, unshrouded?

        That was the last time I saw a Kannada movie.

29 comments:

Santosh said...

Oh my god. this post actually had the best of my dirty mind. Till i read the last line. LOL,

Loved the post!! nice one buddy.. keep it up

Zee said...

hahahahaha!!! very well written!!! am adding u to my favrouties list

ScRiBbLeR said...

Too good..LOL :)

rsubras said...

hey dude first timer here :)

Good one !!! I wonder what wud have been ur view had u seen a balakrishna telugu movie :p

another one that caught my attention was the label...IIM-A....wat has IIM-A got to do with this post :) ??

vigneswaralu pandurangan said...

lolz... tamil movies r no different :)

crazyBugga said...

them stupid b-grade producers... i love them

Vaporizing Phantasm said...

ayyo! I'm Lowing it!!!!! Its brilliant I say....

My what a dual mind you have

All the better to review Kannada Movies with!!!!

Karthick Sundararajan said...

I thought it was a telugu movie ;) until I read the last line..

hilarious, btw :D

love and squalor said...

that's pretty much the state of affairs in most south indian productions. but yeah, like someone else said, it can get so much more entertaining with balakrishna around.

Mr.X said...

hahahahahaha....
macha. sooperappu.. loved this one... and all your posts.. reading one by one.. thank you for visiting my blog

Tys on Ice said...

...now tht was a hilarious post...try watching after muting ...and invent ur own script...its pretty much fun...as u can see, i lead an exciting life

sirpy said...

@santosh

Tanks.. Psst. I'll tell you a secret. I did start writing it with the selfsame dirty mind. It was only in the end did I notice that, whoa..! It is a Kannada movie...!

sirpy said...

@zee

My heart swells with emotion... Thanks, zee..

Now, wait a minute...

sirpy said...

@scribbler

Thanks a lot...!!

sirpy said...

@rsubras

#1: welcome homie..!
#2: I do have seen the balakrishna movie where, our amn stops a train singlehandedly with divine intervention.. Broke a rib, laughing..:D
#3: I am in IIMA. And it was here that I met a Kannadiga friend. And it was he who made me watch a Kannda movie. And I am still temporarily insane..

sirpy said...

@vigneswaralu

Yeah, I knwo.. but there I atleast understand the man's love strains and the woman's retorts... The hero too looks kinda passable.. Here, it was like watching Afghanistan soft porn..

sirpy said...

@crazybugga

What will you do loving the producers...? Methought the thigh shakers were better and far more appropriate...?

sirpy said...

@vaporizing phantasm

Thank you, ma'am...! Kannada movies are seriously brilliant in their own ways.. :D Better still are Bhojpuri movies..

sirpy said...

@karthick sundararajan

There ain't much difference between tam, telugu or kannda movies.. Except the level of nincompoopicity...

sirpy said...

@vaporizing phatasm

Thnks for the link..:)

sirpy said...

@ love and squalor

me agree with you wholeheartedly.. The Kannada film industry is riddled with Balakrishnans and Vijaykanths...

sirpy said...

@mr.x

Thanks thalai.. Loved your blog too.. Quid pro quo, eh...? :D

sirpy said...

@tys on ice

LOL.. yeah, me and bro used to do it.. Mute the tv, running an english flick and switch on the tape playing a tamil song.. It amazingly used to sync most of the time.. Ah.. those times..

sirpy said...

@mr x

Sorry for not replying to your comment for my previous post.. Just noticed.. thnx a ton for the link...:)

Vaporizing Phantasm said...

2sirpy....don't thank me... Iyam now hard-kaur fan :) balle balle :)

Vaporizing Phantasm said...

@ sirpy..... Arul Sirpy (James paandu ishtyle) I hear you be'th a brilliant boy from one of your seniors :)

Ziah said...

Hahahahahhahaha...:) Precious.

Supriya Narang said...

oh... that was just super brilliant...!!!!

the other day, i was watching one of those movies on star gold,starring the other superstar(other than rajnikant, that is..) i dont really know which state it belonged to since it was dubbed in hindi , but yeah, my feelings stay the same!

Suraj Darra said...

nice da..... :) .... y no post for the last 2 years???? time flies!!! where r u now? done with IIM A? how is life?